I’ve been really depressed lately. I’ve become very unmotivated, worried and somewhat scared. I don’t want to worry people with my problems yet I want someone to love and listen to me and support me at the same time. Does that make me selfish? I feel sorry for myself too much which in turn makes me feel weak. I put on a happy face but deep inside I just want to be loved and cherished forever without all my fears of someone leaving me and realizing I’m not worth their time and kick me to the curb. That’s how it’s always been for me so it’s hard for me to trust and open up to people. I feel so fucking pathetic. I just get so lost in my own thoughts and emotions all the time and it brings me down. I just want all this negative emotion to go away and let me live my life pain free. So there’s the truth to anyone who may be listening.
Always be thankful for those who are in your life and can always make you smile and laugh and be happy no matter what kind of day you’re having. They understand and support you no matter what and most of all, they don’t judge you. Those are the kind of people you want to keep around in your life. Because they make YOU a better person.
I just want to be in love already. I want to know that someone cares about me and loves me for everything that I am. I want to know that I am worth something to someone. I want to fall asleep each night with someone holding me. I just want to be loved by a REAL man.
My doctor doesn’t want me to lose another 33lbs. He said it won’t be healthy for me. Instead he wants me to lose 16lbs and no more than that. That was such a shocker and wake up call and totally unexpected.